For all of you avid followers of sjsong1, you may recall me
writing a plan regarding church game and real world game, and how the two
differ.  as i mentioned before, there are millions of types of "games",
and so the next one i will discuss is Instant Messenger game, or IM game.

        this plan is broken up into two parts, so for those of you taking
notes, the points i will discuss is 1) Why does IM game work so well?  and
2) What are some of the secrets to IM game?

        this week i shall go over the first part.  so here goes...


        there are numerous answers to this one...

1)  QUALIFICATIONS: in church game, you needed spirituality.  in real
world game, you needed looks and/or money.  in IM game, all you need is a
PC, baby!!  yeah yeah!!!  so for like less than a $1000, you can have all
the IM game you want!

        in my last plan, i rated church game as being #1 (in terms of
prestige) and real world game as #2.  IM game is like #4523983.  There is
no pride in IM game.  granted i use IM and i've been using it more now
than ever before...but i am still very ashamed.  why is IM game so shameful???
read on.

2)  ART OF CONVERSATION IS LOST.  for many people, this is a good thing.
if you are shy or are not articulate, IM is the way you can shine!  no one
can tell you are stuttering, and you can always proofread what you write
before you send it, in order to avoid saying something stupid.  and if you
take a while answering a question, the  person assumes its b/c you are
busy, not because you are thinking.  so with all real aspects of social
interaction lost, this allows the socially challenged individuals to
really work their magic.  on IM, these weirdos dont even sound like
themselves.  they are now bursting with confidence and witty humor...all
of which disappears the moment you run into them in person.

3)  SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE.  ask a girl for her number, and immediately they
assume you have interest.  and then she will reject you.  ask a CHURCH
girl for her number, and she will get her small group leader on you...and
tell all her friends, ruining all your church game.  girls will tell more
girls and soon you'll have a group of girls laughing at you every time
you get in line to get bread at communion.  and when your eyes are closed
as you pray for a meal, more girls will laugh.  and when you go to large
group, the girls on the welcoming committee will shake your hand....and
then laugh at you when you pass by.  when you get sandwiches after sunday
service, girls will start spitting out pieces of chewed salami b/c they
can't stop laughing at you.  but whether she's a church girl or not, you
still face the risk of getting rejected.  and no one wants that.

        but ask ANYONE for their IM screen name, and that's totally fine.
its actually FRIENDLY.  why is it different from asking for a number?
well, it may be a little more impersonal, but lets face it...its all the
same thing.  now, does this mean that every time someone asks you for your
SN that they like you?  of course not!  that would be silly.  all i'm
saying is that they may be looking for more than a simple 2 min online
conversation.  but just sometimes.  so if i ever got your SN before, try
not to flatter yourself, please.  =)

        many guys make a living out of this...obviously b/c if they want
to get to know someone well without having to ask the person out, then a
SN is an obvious choice.  it seems harmless, right?  i mean, pure
conversation without the physical presence of that person ensures that
there are no you get to know the person for who they
are on the inside, right?  wrong, baby!  keep reading...

4)  DECEPTION.  see, in IM, no one can see or hear you.  this means that
they can neither see your facial expressions nor hear your tone of voice.
this leads to endless possibilities....but most importantly, it gives you
the freedom to deceive. 

*****I honestly believe that you can talk to someone online for hours
every day for months....even years... and still not know the person you
are "talking" to.*****

        see, with IM, you can be someone you are not...and its hard to
spot.  its hard to point out insincerity over a computer, b/c you must
simply go by what they write and whether or not they add smiley faces to
the ends of their sentences.  there are people who i would IM a lot and
thought i knew them well, only to realize that they are totally different
people in real life.
        with the ability to conjure up phrases and expressions at your own
pace, you can make yourself sound better than you really are.  if you
wanna sound compassionate, just add some "awwww, thats sooo sad...." when
in reality you would never say such words.  a girl trying to be cute
might write "bAbeE gUrL lika buBBlE tEEEEE....bOOpSies!@"  or a thuggish
guy trying to get a church girl can be like "i pray that the Lord will
in you the same way He moved in me and help you see that you need a man
in your life."  hahaha
        but basically, what i'm saying is that nothing will ever be able
to replace one on one, face to face conversations.  nothing.  if you want
to get to know someone, you have to do it in person.  IM is so fake.
someone can ask "how is your day", then turn away from the screen and
start talking on the phone with someone...and then keep talking to you
online, pretending to care when in fact, they arent even listening to you.
not like i do this or anything, though.  that'd be rude.  others can try
to sound like someone they are not, or try to tell you stuff you want to
        so deception allows IM game to work b/c you can work your magic in
whichever way you please. =)

5)  GETTING CAUGHT OFF GUARD.  this is BY FAR the most important part as
to why IM game works.  my last point was about deception...putting on a
mask...but this point is about just the opposite....letting things slip!
see, IM removes all inhibitions that are normally associated with real
time conversations.  with this in mind, people begin to feel more
comfortable around each other and let their guard down.  sometimes they
let their guard TOO down.
        see, comfortableness mixed in with late night IM action produces a
weird conversation.  we all have them at certain times...where weird
things are talked about and you see sides of people you didnt know

      (no inhibitions) + (4:00AM) = stinkin weird conversations

        this is where people let their guards down and let their true
colors shine.  its like the psychology terms of the id, ego, and superego.
superego is the "stage self" that is like an actor performing on stage for
people.  he "acts" and only puts forth what he wants his audience to
see.  but how he is backstage is totally different.  the "id" is the
inner, brute person that they don't want anyone to see.  so the equation
is more like this:             

        (no inhibitions) + (4:00AM) = ID

        this is the time when you learn of childhood trauma, previous
relationships, why they hate so and so, who they like now, and of all
these weird stories that you never knew took place.
        with this added knowledge, it leads to vulnerability.  this means
that you have the upper hand b/c they shared something personal with you.
and along with vulnerability comes emotional attachment, for they feel a
connection b/n the two of you.
        see the weird thing is that you can share nothing about yourself
to someone...and they spill their guts out to you....and all of a sudden,
they are emotionally attached.  weird, right?
        so that's why IM game works so well.  i mean, picture this shy,
cowardly computer geek who has no social skills...and he went to a retreat
and got all the screen names of all the people in his small group (since
this is socially acceptable, remember?)  and then he IMs some girl in his
small group and they end up talking a lot.  well, actually, SHE ends up
talking a lot.  and she spills her guts to this guy.  and he just sits
there typing "uh huh" and "yeah".  all of a sudden, she is left vulnerable
and then emotionally attached to the guy.  all of a sudden, he is her best
friend and loves him for being such a good listener.  so this guy got a
girl by just sitting there typing "uh huh" and "yeah", when in actuality
he was probably playing Counterstrike (a computer game) during the whole
        now he has you wrapped around his finger.  you like that?  hahaha.

        so THAT is why IM game works so well.  it may not be the most
prestigious of "games" to be a master in, but hey, if it works, it works.
for some people, IM game is all they got.  some guys have REAL WORLD game
AND CHURCH game, yet still use IM game as order to cover all
aspects of life.  (mike "mikey baby" kim).

        tune in next week for the more humorous side of my plan...the part
where i reveal secrets of IM and hidden strategies to make your game the
best it can be!
Instant Messenger Game (Part 1)