Guys_and_Girls_Be

       this has always been a rather controversial topic, i must say. so
CAN they be friends? YES. Can they be really really close friends??? the answer: NO.
they can't. at least not without feelings getting in the way. does this mean that every
close co-ed friendship is tarnished with feelings for each other? no, but i think every
guy-girl friendship has had feelings get in the way at one time or another. either the guy
likes the girl or vice versa. and if there are no feelings in the present, then there
were feelings in the past. itsthat simple.

        why? cuz guys and girls never just INTEND on being close friends. when i say close friends, i mean friends who are almost like best friends.
in order to get close, there had to be motive to get to know the other
person better. and the motive is usually an attraction to the other
person. sure, the intial motive could've been pure, but the end result is
the same.

        i only have a couple close girl friends, and i've liked them both
in the past. i think you gotta get that attraction stuff out of the way
if you ever want to pursue a close relationship, otherwise there will
always be the "what-if" question hovering over the two of you forever.
plus, if you guys are soooo compatible, how could feelings of attraction
NOT be on your mind? it HAS to get in the way at one point or another.
so if you have a close friend of the opposite sex....and you guys never
had feelings in the past, then i believe that there must be feelings in
the present. you can't just be friends with a girl.

        now remember, this just pertains to close friendships. shallow
acquaintances are no big deal...but those "best friend" type of
friendships don't exist. you either like them now or have liked them in
the past. if you deny this, then you are an idiot. i dare you to prove me wrong with
ONE case where it didn't happen this way. just ONE. i mean, why else
would a person open up their heart to another? why not just go to someone
of the same gender? but the opposite isn't always true: just cuz you
liked them in the past, it doesn't mean you guys are still close. i'm
only close to a couple, even though thousands of girls have liked me in
the past. hahaha. sorry, i couldn't help myself. and also, just because you liked them
in the past and are over the person, doesn't mean you have the green light to be best
friends with them, with no chance of feelings resurfacing. Liking them in the past may
have paved the way to a plutonic friendship, but no one says that it will always
stay that way.

        i think a problem with a lot of guys getting led on has to do with
the guy's mentality. the guy tends to assume that he really knows the
girl well, even though it might have been just a few weeks or months. i
think a lot of guys need to understand that it's REALLY hard to get to
know a girl...and even when you think you know them, you really don't. i
don't think a man every really does.

        i think its good to keep everyone an arm's length away, only
because of the validity of my point. don't become best buds with a
guy/girl you don't like...they might get the wrong idea. stay away from
all that crap and just mind your own business. never try to dig deep into
a person's personal life...just enjoy the mindless, shallow conversations
and keep things fun. don't let them know you, don't try to know them. If
your friendships with others of the opposite sex naturally progresses to
the point that you get to know them well, then thats great, but never go
OUT OF YOUR WAY to "get to know them" or "see how they are doing b/c you
are worried about them". let guys worry about guys and let girls worry
about girls. if you like the guy/girl, do your thang, but if you TRULY
want to be their friend, then do them a favor and stay out of their
lives...know them, understand them, but just don't get too close. you
mess things up that way, and then the friendship gets all weird. and then
you become a bigger stranger to them than ever before. that's not what
friendship is all about.