Freshmen Vs. Freshmeat


This plan is dedicated to all the lonely freshmen out there!!!!

        as the new school year rolls along, so does a new class of
students: FRESHMEN.  more specifically, freshmen girls.  in eager
anticipation of this new and exciting time of the year, older guys begin
to drool as they eagerly wait to see the new breed of freshmen as they
fight over who gets who.  gross isn't it?  well, thats the truth.  guys
pounce on these girls like wolves going after vulnerable sheep.  granted,
all girls are evil, so no girl is totally vulnerable, but hey, give 'em a
break....they are freshmen.  they don't know any better.  girls can be
evil AND dumb at the same time.  hahaha, just kidding girls!!!  don't hit

        anyways, as each new class of girls rolls along, the same sort of
thing happens every year...freshmen girls start having crushes and desire
to be in a relationship.  this plan is talking solely about
relationships that START in college, not the ones that carry over from
high school....thats a whole different ball park.  my plan serves two
purposes.  the first is to show these girls that getting into a relationship
with someone new is not a smart thing to do.  am i saying that all freshmen
relationships are bad?  not exactly. but what i'm saying is that there
are many disadvantages and if it isn't approached  the right way, it 
can lead to disaster.  the second  purpose is to convince guys
that there is nothing honorable about hitting on freshmen.  here goes....

1)  FRESHMEN GIRLS ARE LONELY.  they leave home for the first time and are
now separated by their friends and family.  they have to start life over again
at some big university and rediscover themselves.  they temporarily go
through an identity crisis as they struggle with who they are and who they
want to be.

        as a result, freshmen may be more inclined to want to get into a
relationship to ease the loneliness and have the days pass by quicker.  it
also acts as a crutch for them to rely on....someone to depend on,
especially during the tough times that exist during the first few months
of school.

2)  FRESHMEN GIRLS ARE REBELIOUS.  many of these girls want to rebel
against their parents, their church, or their friends.  many of them have
had bad high school experiences and want to turn over a new leaf and go in
the opposite direction.  maybe their parents were really strict, and now they
wanna go buck wild.  maybe the girl was really involved in church before,
and now wants to experiment with the party scene.  maybe she never got
along with other girls in high school and now wants to meet more guys,

3)  FRESHMEN GIRLS ARE INSECURE.  actually, all girls are insecure.  this
kinda goes along with the first point, in that they don't feel complete as
an individual, so they look for someone else to complete them.  I THINK
and guys alike. if you don't know yourself as a single individual, then you have
absolutely nothing to give to the other person in a relationship.  and
desiring to be with someone when you have nothing to give is simply
selfishness.  love is meant to be UNselfish.  some people think that they,
as individuals, are completely lost and have no direction in life.  they
think that getting into a relationship will steer them into the right
direction, as if love is the compass of life.  unfortunately, that is
not true.  if anything, God should be the compass of life, and love is what
motivates you to keep moving north.

4)  FRESHMEN GIRLS LIKE OLDER GUYS.  if you are an older guy, be
cautious of how you act around freshmen girls, b/c weird things can happen. 
see, a freshman girl can like an older guy simply b/c he is older.  Strictly
having an age advantage is just as powerful as if you looked like a model.
so a senior guy who is a total scrub can still pick up younger girls by
showing them attention.  freshies dig upperclassmen, b/c they think
upperclassmen are mature and crap.  not always the case, girls.  and so
when an older guy shows her attention, she's like "wow, i am special."
but in actuality, he may not even really like her at all.  so as she
goes through a freshman year identity crisis, she now wants to identify
with a guy who has already been on campus for a while.  that way she
places her identity in the guy and no longer feels as lost anymore.

now imagine if you buy the girl dinner, ask to go study with her, talk
to her on the phone, etc.  it just makes the girl grow more and more
attached to the guy...and thatís not healthy.  and in her mind she might be
thinking "wow, this guy has been on campus for three years and he must
already know all these girls...but out of all the girls he knows, he is
showing attention to ME."  well, yeah, maybe that is true.  but maybe you
are just another girl in his never know.  so why do girls like
older guys?  read the next point....

5)  FRESHMEN GIRLS DON'T REALLY LIKE THE GUY.  that's right.  most of the
time, when a freshman meets an older guy and has a crush on him, its not
HIM that she has a crush on.  its the CONCEPT of him.  the girl may not
know the guy very well, and as a result, fill in all the missing voids
with POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES.  she may think, wow, this guy is smart, mature,
funny, talented, etc.  but i ask you this:  how well do you really know
him?  i mean REALLY know him?  do you know his weaknesses, too?  have you
seen him at his worst?  many guys can put their best foot forward, but
never think that the good impression that they leave is truly who he is.
that goes for anything in life.

        maybe the guy is nice, maybe the guy is popular, maybe he dresses
well.  so you like him.  or you think you do, but you really don't.  you
are simply in love with your messed up view of him.  in actuality, you are
simply in love with the man you have dreamed of your entire life....with
his face pasted on that person.  and since you don't know the guy well
enough, you place all the qualities of your dream man into this guy.  its
not really who he is.  freshmen girls don't LIKE the guy, they are
INFATUATED with him.

freshman needs to meet new people on campus...make friends.  if she hooks up with a
guy she just meets there, then a LOT of her time will be dedicated to
him, and she won't be able to really make many friends at school here.
who is she going to eat with?  BOYFRIEND.  who is she going to study
with?  BOYFRIEND.  who is she going to talk to on the phone?  BOYFRIEND.
hmm, i wonder where jenny is?  hmm, maybe she's with her BOYFRIEND.

so let's say a freshmen does decide to date some guys she meets and they
break up, who is she going to turn to?  what does she have to fall back on?
all of her eggs were in one basket.  her relational portfolio was NOT
diversified, baby!  and even DURING the relationship, if she has
no friends, who will support her during the tough times?  who will hold
her accountable?


        There is no honor in hitting on a freshman girl.  YES you can get
her.  so what?  you want props?  why?  i mean, as an older guy, you have
every sort of advantage over her, so of course you can get her.  but
that's nothing to be proud of.  anyone can get a girl when she is
vulnerable.  thats like a lion being proud of finding a dead carcass
instead of hunting for his own food.  i mean, if you really like the
girl, you just gotta wait for the girl to settle everything down first....let
her find herself and really build up some confidence and inner strength.
otherwise two people with nothing to give leads nowhere.

        i think every freshman should be required to read my plan.  i
think along with orientation, convocation, and the rape seminar, reading
this plan should also be mandatory university policy for new students.  if
you really love your friends, make them read this....especially to anyone
enrolling next year.  then that way they will know who i am before they even
get here and since they will think that i'm a nice guy, i can hit on them
during their first semester of school.  thank you.