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        when you ask a girl about the kind of qualities that they look for
in a guy, two qualities pop up immediately: height and confidence.
unfortunately, there isn't much one can do about your height, for you
have to kinda accept what you were given.  but confidence, my friend, IS
something that you DO have control over.
        every girl always says, "i want a guy who is confident, but NOT
cocky".  they don't like cocky.  but how do you know when the person is
confident and when the person is cocky?  well, i have posted some
guidelines one can follow to help aid you in the decision making process.

1)  DOES HE HAVE INTEGRITY?  confident men are also men of integrity.
when you look at guys like Maximus from "Gladiator", it was his integrity
that added onto his confidence.  integrity is needed b/c confidence is one
of those qualities that cannot be associated with "immoral things", for a
truly confident individual would never need to resort to stooping low.
because integrity is so important, all the manwhores, he-sluts, drug
addicts, and car theives cannot be men of confidence.  if they
were so confident, they wouldn't need to rely on drugs, women, or fancy
cars to make them feel important.  the only exceptions are mike kim and
yuri kim, who are both confident men, yet still hold onto their manwhore
status.

2)  CAN YOU MAKE FUN OF HIM?  a truly confident man is able to take a
joke.  in other words, you should be able to make fun of him or tease him
about his weaknesses and he should be able to laugh with you.  a cocky guy
tries to hide his insecurities and therefore will either get defensive
when you tease him, or he will play it off as if it was no big deal but
then dwell upon it later.  cocky guys don't know how to take a joke.

3)  WHO SETS HIS STANDARDS?  confident men set their own standards,
whereas cocky guys set their standards according to how others are doing.
in other words, a confident man will aim for goals that he placed for
himself, whereas a cocky guy just wants to be better than the people
around him.  so a confident man might say, "yeah, i can do that."  but a
cocky guy will use comparisons and might say something like "yeah, i'm the
BEST at that" or "i am BETTER than him at that".  cocky guys need to
compare in order to feed their insecurities and show that they are better
than the next guy.

   4)  DOES HE LIFT OTHERS UP?  confident men enjoy making other people feel good about themselves, too.  they can spot the strengths of another guy
and praise them for it.  a cocky guy only seeks praise for himself and
will constantly compare his strengths to another man's weaknesses.
confident men are secure enough to acknowledge that some people are
actually better than them in something.

5)  IS HE TEACHABLE?  confident men love to learn.  they know that there
are still many things that need improvement in their lives and therefore
are eager to learn from others, whether it deals with sports, hobbies, or
even how to interact with other people.  cocky guys, on the other hand,
are not as teachable b/c they have the mindset that they do not need
improvement and are fine the way they are.  they lack wisdom and are
not open to taking advice.  to them, their way is the right way, and
even when they know that their way is wrong, they find a way to justify
it.  they are complacent and don't feel the need to expand their
minds.  see, confident guys are strong IN SPITE of their weaknesses, but
cocky guys are strong BECAUSE OF their strengths.  see the difference?

        everybody has insecurities, but not everyone is insecure.  you can
have weaknesses without being weak.  insecurity drives the cocky man, but
humility drives the confident man.

        there is also people who are deceivingly confident.  they do this
by jokingly acting cocky over stupid stuff by saying stuff like "i am the
GREATEST FOOSE BALL CHAMPION WHO EVER LIVED!"  this is obviously a joke
and isn't to be taken seriously.  a confident man is able to act cocky
only when he knows that everyone listening is certain that his claims are
so far fetched that there is absolutely no truth behind his claims.  if
there is any truth behind it, hes just straight up cocky.  so if you are
good at football and you claim to be the best, you are being cocky, since
there is truth behind it.

        BUT, do not be fooled by false modesty, either.  someone once said
that man refuses praise only so that he can hear it again.  for example,
let's say that at home i have an indoor smokeless grill that i have been
grilling steaks on for three years.  let's say that, hypothetically, I
became SO good at grilling filet mignons that they've been known to taste
better than any steak you could buy from any restaurant.  then let's
assume that someone tries my steak for the first time and is like, "oh ma
gosh, scott, your steak tastes sooooo good!  that's the best steak i ever
had!"  when i answer with a "nah, it's really nothing...i suck."  i might
be being humble, but i might also have FALSE MODESTY.  this false modesty
is actually refusing praise only so that i can hear it again!  cuz then
you'll be like "no really, it's soooo good!" thus, re-emphasizing your
point and making my head even bigger.  watch out for false modesty, for it
is even more dangerous than honest pride.  at least with honest pride,
you are not deceiving people the way you do when you use false modesty.

        but i think the word "cocky" is misused too often.  it's over
prescribed.  and the word "confident" is used too little...even though
there aren't many confident guys out there.  especially asians.  anyways,
to figure out whether the guy is cocky or confident, use these guidelines
to figure it out.  and if all else fails, just ask his guy friends...they
probably know the truth better than most girls, since they see him with
his guard down.

        as for me, don't even bother asking me which one i am.  if i am
cocky, i will insist that i am confident, because only an idiot will admit
to being cocky.  and if i AM confident, again i will still insist
that i am confident, for i am telling the truth...but then you will think
i am cocky for thinking that i am confident.  so either way, my answer
will be always be CONFIDENT (even though that may not be the true answer)
and b/c  i will say i'm confident, you will ALWAYS think i am COCKY. so
it's a no-win situation for scott.  (unless i purposely say that i am
cocky, in which case you might think i'm being humble therefore
classifying me as CONFIDENT.  nevermind.)  get it? good.  so don't ask me,
okay? =)
Cocky Vs. Confident
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